Essence’s Hair Story

03Nov09

Hello WP…time for another hair story…YAY!!!

Meet Essence…she has a great hair story and a wonderful spirit…when I first approached her, out of the blue,  about doing “hair story” she was more than obliging and gracious.   She has been natural for a while and has  great words of wisdom for transitioners, newly naturals and veterans.  Also, check out her blog “live. laugh. do.” it is filled with awesome things to do and wonderful places to eat.  Rock that do Essence!

1.  How long have you been natural?
Hmmm… let’s see. I’ve been natural since 2001, so almost ten years. That’s a long time. I’ve tried it all, except the Jerri Curl, as I had no desire to let my soul glow (Coming to America reference).

2.  What prompted you to make the change?
My hair has always been very soft. My Mom never wanted me to perm my hair but when you’re in the pool and the only one with an afro, not having wet slicked back hair became all the more obvious. I wanted to be cute too – not on the bus looking like a hot mess. I begged her for the perm. I got the perm. I was 14. It looked good for the first week. After that -my hair just started breaking. My hair was shoulder length before the perm and I found myself going to the hair dresser every two weeks – my hair getting shorter. I was not amused. I decided after about 3 months, to grow my hair out. It didn’t take long – I was *the* braid princess. I had a brand spankin’ new head of natural hair. A friend of my mother’s, who was a hair dresser, got me into a conversation about perms and hair and convinced me that I was simply using the wrong relaxer. Initially, I used Revlon but she convinced me that for my hair type… it was way too strong. So, what did I do? I gave it another chance. SMH @ myself. (Side bar: Don’t believe that crap – sodium hydroxide or  calcium hydroxide/ guanidine carbonate – same chemicals and still bad for your hair).
What happened? The same thing. It looked good for the first week – then my hair started to break. I decided that enough was enough. I wanted my healthy hair back. I transitioned with braids again and grew out my hair.

I loc’d my hair in July 2007. It was the best natural move I ever made. Lack of proper care for my overall well-being caused my hair to break. When I stress – my hair is the first place it manifests itself. I lost a patch of hair in the crown of my head. By the middle/end of January, it started to grow back as I started to take better care of my overall well-being and cleaning up my life. I could have been content to continue to let the patch fill in, but there were other changes (for the better) going on in my life at that time. I decided to seal the deal by starting over – quite literally. I’m a spontaneous person – known to do things and accept/manage the repercussions after. One night after work, I was home looking at the patch that was finally growing back. It had become unacceptable to me now. I called my barber (to find out what time he closed) and literally ran to the barber shop. At first he didn’t believe what I was asking him to do; in fact, he refused me. I grabbed the scissors and cut off a large portion of my locs and handed him the scissors to finish the job. Viola – bald head emerged!

3.  How long did you transition? or did you BC?  Did that affect your confidence?
When I was younger, the idea of no hair was frightening to me. I transitioned with braids. I needed it. I wasn’t confident as a child – so I was definitely not about to give the popular kids ammo. LOL!
With my locs – I just went for it. I didn’t even know if I would have the “right shaped head” to pull it off. I was at the point of: “Get this crap off of my head and let’s just start over.” It did wonders for my confidence. People loved and accepted the look immediately – though they cried that I no longer had my locs – they loved the look.

4.  What was the reaction of family, friends, significant other to you wearing your hair natural?
Initially, shock then admiration and lots of love for the new look.  My mother screamed when I revealed the new look to her. She didn’t think I would do it – but she knows I’ve always been gutsy. My siblings loved it. They offered to brush my hair all the time. I became the new comfort item when watching movies – they’d rub my head (LOL!). My friends were a trip. The dialogue went something like: “OMG! What did you do?” to “WOW, You really did it” to “I love it”. I’m thankful that there was no significant other in the picture to complain

5.  5 products your hair can’t live without
I used to be a big product junkie but since I had locs – I cut down on all of that. Our hair doesn’t need much to grow. We just have to stop giving it crap.

* I’m big on oils. Lavender oil is not only aromatic but very good for scalp stimulation.

* A good shampoo: Khoret Ahmen from Carol’s Daughter.

* Kinky Curly Custard is the best stuff on earth as far as I’m concerned. I didn’t want to rock a fro – I think it looks too rough (lol) – Kinky Curly helps soften the hair and gives  it a curl like a texturizer.

* Water & Overall Healthy Diet: We are what we eat. What you put into your body is what comes out of it.

* Healthy Lifestyle: I know first hand that stress affects me physically. I’ve found a variety of de-stressors that work for me. I make sure I laugh a lot, cry when I need to, walk for good measure, and give love

6.  Advice you would give to someone going natural?
* Make sure it’s something that you really want to do. It seems to be a trend now. For me – moving to be natural is/was deeply personal. I was doing some serious heart/life cleaning … and was also tired of putting crap in my hair. I don’t see myself EVER going back to a perm. I’ve been there, done that and got the t-shirt… twice.

* Be confident – rock your teeny weeny afro, medium fro, large fro with confidence. The only limit is your imagination. I firmly believe that with natural hair, there are no rules. You can rock it any way you want to – there is no right or wrong unless it’s unhealthy. Find what works for you – and try some things that you don’t think will. You never know. Trial and error is necessary to find the do’s that work for you.

Love. Peace and No bottles of hair grease (it’s not healthy) LOL!

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Thanks for sharing Essence!!!

Filed under: Hair, au naturale, natural hair, relaxed hair, transitioning   |  4 Comments
Tags: advice, afro, au naturale, black hair, dreadlocks, hair care, hair profile, Hair Story, kinky twist, locs, natural, natural hair, natural hair care, transitioning